Lotus Guide
Holistic Resources
P.O. Box 135
Chico, California 95926
530-894-8433 (89-GUIDE)
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Your Horoscope
Counseling
White Canvas
By Lisa Patterson
I ask Virginia what she wants to work on in this session. Her voice deepens as she tells me she's been stuck financially for years. "And the reasons are in me," she says. She's desperate to uncover these hidden secrets and change them.
I ask about her line of work.
She cares for the sick, the old, and dying people, she says. Virginia is tired of the work, the pain, and the hopelessness that has become a daily routine.
I ask her what she would rather do.
Her answer comes quickly, almost before I can finish my question. "I want to write!" she proclaims.
The pictures develop in my mind's eye. I'm drawn to her feet, her foundation, where I see a concrete block with a steel strap tightly bolting her feet down.
I relay the image and ask her what it means. She says, without hesitation, "It means I haven't been able to move. I can't move." I ask her where she grew up. "Pomona, California" flies out of her mouth and with it images of a large, gray, concrete-looking two-story building with lots of windows appear visibly before my eyes.
I ask permission to delve deeper into her private world, her personal field of energy. I'm aware of her discomfort, her trepidation, and I gently proceed with caution. I'm touching a deep, sensitive part of her.
She speaks; she reveals more of her history as I venture inside her world. She tells me about living in foster homes. She says her mother is an alcoholic, that her father gained custody.
I ask if one of the foster homes is concrete. She remembers that when she was 8, 9, and 11 that the home had a concrete floor. I sense she's avoiding where she lived at age 10. Her avoidance tells me we're reaching the destination, the source of events and feelings that contain hidden answers.
I ask her where she was at age 10? She describes an abandoned convent, a convent that is turned into a home for children, an awful home for orphans still operated by nuns, she explains.
I see it. I describe it. It's gray like concrete, two stories, with windows on both stories. It has an emotionally cold ambience, a barrenness of feeling, and an absence of empathy. While it also has well-cared-for furniture, wooden stairwells polished with beeswax, it's more like a hospital with beds all in a row and white canvas curtains surrounding each one. It's the same image I saw earlier in the session. Virginia blocked this memory for years.
Her father left her there. I ask why. She says that World War II had erupted and he had to go. While she talks I work with her energy field so she remembers more, as that is her request. Together we are in her history, as if a movie were happening before us.
Startled, and after taking a deep breath, Virginia remembers that night. I feel her crying. She stops herself, saying, "I won't cry now." She wants to remember that night. "He dropped me off and I was taken to a cubicle where I heard other children crying too." She says she can feel the terror and anger in her body right now.
She repressed the worst night of her memories. She expressed wonder at the reason for that night being the most difficult compared to others.
Hearing her question made me dig deeper. I saw her terror. I saw her as a child facing another abandonment, this time by her father. She didn't think she would ever see him again—that's the reason she blocked the memory. I gave her the details of my vision. She says she remembered thinking she wouldn't see him again and she would die.
Continuing, this time about her mother, Virginia recalled awakening in the backseat of a car at night with no one around. Her mother was inside the bar. The car doors were locked and she was too young to unlock them so she just screamed for hours until her lungs burned.
When she mentioned her lungs burning I saw cigarette smoke in them. I relayed this information to her and learned she had tried to quit smoking but could not. The smoking is her attempt to cool the "burning lungs" memory and numb the abandonment feelings in her chest.
Then I noticed a large play area outside that I asked her about. She recalled something she had done in that play area that she regretted. Then she told me the story.
Virginia busied herself outside by building an elaborate dirt hospital for the ants. She even made small cubicles and locked them in by putting dirt on top of their beds. She still felt bad about what she called her "cruel actions."
My interpretation was different. I saw her reenacting her experience at the home that was more like a hospital. She and all the other children were like the ants imprisoned in that hospital, in little cubicles for beds that were smothering instead of nurturing. She was expressing her reality and trying to make sense of it and heal.
It was easier feeling sorry for the ants and being angry with herself for hurting them than it was being angry with the nuns or with her father for hurting her. She agreed.
I encouraged her to be gentle with herself while going through the healing of her memories. I suggested releasing the images from within her mind onto paper. I recommended that a transition from caring for the sick to writing would help her break the old patterns.
Virginia welcomed writing about her life experience. She felt grateful for the retrieval of the memories, that one in particular. She believed it had been a huge black spot, an area of darkness that she needed to avoid. She was freer now and thanked me again. Three months later Virginia called, she said she was writing, not smoking, and feeling empowered.
Everyday Angels
By Amy Benitez
All children deserve loving and nurturing parents; however, when a family is in crisis sometimes the adults are unable to meet the needs of their children. For some the thought of a child’s not being provided the basic necessities of childhood (nurturing and safety) are beyond comprehension, but the reality is that approximately 700 children are in foster care in Butte County. Youth for Change Foster Family Agency strives to provide safe, nurturing homes for children to grow and heal in the foster-care system. While Youth for Change believes that the best place for a child is in his or her home, when that is not a possibility our staff makes every effort to provide that child and his or her family with the skills and resources needed to bring them back together in a healthy and nurturing way.
Children who are in the foster-care system are there as a result of their exposure to trauma through abuse or neglect from their caretakers. The children in our care require caring and compassionate adults to help them stabilize. Foster parents are often the first step in healing for these kids. Foster parents can help a child learn to trust and develop a sense of safety in the world. Foster parents, of course, are not alone and as the adage goes, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Our “village” consists of a team of people who provide both the child and the family with comprehensive professional services.
Foster parents have a very challenging and rewarding job. They are on the front lines with these kids. Foster parents open their homes and hearts, climb mountains of behaviors, are up in the middle of the night, become taxi drivers and advocates, love these kids like their own, all the while preparing them to go home to their own families. It’s like a dance of loving and letting go. Foster parents also have to go against the grain sometimes in the interest of the children, which can sometimes be a lonely but noble road. Foster parents stop getting invited to all their friends’ dinner parties because of the “wild foster kids,” and their schedules adjust to make time for visits, and counseling appointments, and doctors’ appointments, and tutoring, and . . . the list goes on. But in all the years I’ve worked with foster parents, they continue doing the amazing work they do, and in the best interests of the children they forge on, and children blossom.
So many foster parents plant wonderful seeds of hope and trust in these little people. Their work is invaluable but often is not given the recognition it deserves. They truly are angels among us. Youth for Change is in the process of putting in place a Foster Parent Appreciation Program as it’s important to take care of the caretakers. Through this program we are developing regular respite for our foster parents, Foster Parent Nights Out, and several businesses have donated services and gift cards to this program to honor these special people who help take care of those who can’t take care of themselves. We’re always looking for new ideas to support our foster parents, and if you’ve got one please let us know.
Or you can always become a foster family yourself. Youth for Change offers traditional foster care as well as multidimensional treatment foster care (MTFC) and Fost-Adopt programs. Traditional foster care works with kids 0-19, often in sibling groups, and supports children and families in the child welfare system through the reunification process. MTFC, a recent addition, is just getting started. MTFC specializes in treating youth with antisocial behaviors. There is a complete team for each child and foster parent to support them in developing prosocial skills, to help them succeed in life, and stabilize in an after-care placement. MTFC is short term and places one child, age 12-17, at a time. Fost-Adopt is a program in which we work collaboratively with California state adoptions and help children who have been permanently removed from their family of origin find their forever family.
In addition to the Foster Family Agency, Youth for Change offers numerous programs and is a multifaceted organization that seeks to support children and families so they may live happy and safe lives by providing services that promote dignity, self-determination, and well-being.
If you would like to find out more about the services Youth for Change offers or to become a foster parent call 530-877-6764.
Interview with Rahasya and Dhara in the Enterprise Record
By MARY NUGENT
Staff Writer Monday, Sept. 15, 2003
Couple finds meditation helps the addicted Book's focus is teen-agers William "Rahasya" Poe remembers when he worked with teen-agers at a detox and recovery home in San Diego. "They used to tell me how cool it is to get high and party," said Poe. "So I told them a story. I told them they're standing on a cliff and ready to jump off. They're freefalling, and they don't know there are rocks at the bottom. And they are getting ready to hit the rocks." His little story illustrates what people addicted to drugs and/or alcohol don't want to see, he said: Hitting the rocks is inevitable. This is difficult to get across sometimes to an adolescent that is still in freefall from jumping off the cliff. Poe and his wife, Dhara Lemos, have put their thoughts about meditation as a key source of success in fighting addiction into a book. "The 12 Spiritual Laws of Recovery and Meditations for the 12-Step Program" was published earlier this year. It can be used along with the 12-step program of Alcoholics and Narcotics Anonymous, or on its own. "In 1995 I was in a fire," Poe recalled. "It made me think a bit. I had been using drugs for years and I wanted something better. Through meditation I quit doing drugs and realized I didn't have to be a recovering addict all my life. I wanted to finish the recovery. I wanted a new life." His wife never used drugs, but she had troubling family issues. She started therapy as a teen-ager and today, at 44, credits meditation with the serenity in her life. She teaches meditation and several other healing methods. The couple recently moved to Chico, but have lived in India, England, Germany and Brazil. They met in Brazil, Lemos' native land. "The 12 Spiritual Laws of Recovery" is written in simple English, published in large type and includes lots of white space and graphics. Poe said attention spans are shorter for addicts, and even shorter for teen-agers who are addicted. "The moment you use drugs and alcohol, your emotional development stops," said Poe, who is 55 and a clinical hypnotherapist. "People use drugs and alcohol to avoid feeling. When you learn to meditate, things are a lot quieter inside." But finding the quiet inside is not a moment's process. It takes practice. Poe has found that teen-agers are especially responsive to it although the concept is foreign to American youth in general. "Life is like 30-second sound bytes for teens," added Poe. "I would take a group of kids and walk down the beach and do meditation." He found them receptive in San Diego, and today still receives e-mails from some who found sobriety and serenity. "Addiction is not the problem, but the outcome of the problem. When you add deep emotional pain, it is a bottomless pit. It takes courage to face it," said Lemos. Poe explained. "As addiction builds it becomes part of your personality and ego. Your identity depends on you being addicted and in some kind of drama." Lemos added another example. "People who have been in pain and suffering, that becomes their drama." Both said whatever the problem, people must take responsibility for their own lives in order to change. "That means taking responsibility for your own spiritual and physical environment," said Lemos. "There are kids who are born into a lifestyle of drugs and alcohol. They look at what adults are doing to the world. They see the economy, the ecology ... Society may be crazy, but there are also people trying to find a balance and get answers," said Poe. "It is so easy to blame, but kids can realize life is a choice. They have their wisdom." Lemos, who has extensive experience working with troubled teenagers in Brazil and in the U.S., said she felt a true change in her own life between the ages of 17 and 23. "I found meditation and I wanted to do more. I found peace because I changed. You cannot expect that of anyone else. Once you do meditation, everything changes," she said. Poe said his experience reveals there is no set formula to help teens change. "Some change in a heartbeat, in a moment. For others, it is harder," he said. Lemos added that treating teens with respect and asking for it in return, is key. "The 12 Spiritual Laws of Recovery" is available at Chico State University bookstore, S&S Produce, Chico Natural Foods and Readmore Books, and online bookstores. The couple plan to offer meditation workshops for troubled adolescents in Chico. They already did one for Community Collaborative for Youth, and are teaching "The Western Mind" through the Chico Area Recreation District. They will introduce their book this fall in the Butte College Alcohol and Drug Studies Program. For details Poe and Lemos at 342-2280. ____________________________________________________________________________________________ In The News Once Again in the NEWS The Roadrunner, The Voice of Butte College Students October, 2003 Carol Dutcher Staff Writer An Alternative Path to Recovery Twenty-two years ago I walked into Alcoholics Anonymous. It was there I was introduced to the 12 Steps and meditation. For years I gathered information from various sources but too seldom did it come in a clear and concise form. For 20 years, the book, Twenty-Four Hours a Day has been by my bedside. This book contains many thoughts to ponder, what they call meditations. Now I am happy to make a new addition to my nightstand, a book called The 12 Spiritual Laws of Recovery and Meditations for the 12 Step Program by Wm. Rahasya Poe & Dhara Lemos (published earlier this year). I enjoy meditation as a way to take the edge off and feel better. The peaceful time puts a smile on my face. Described as a hands on approach to lasting recovery, the book is short, but clear and concise in its advice. Rahasya and his wife, Dhara, explore meditation and Eastern insight while directly relating their ideas to the 12 Steps. You never feel you are straying from the program. Rahasya elaborates on the Steps when necessary in a language that speaks to the youth, which is wonderful. If you’re headed for a 12 Step Program, it’s best to get an early start! What’s great about the book is that you don’t have to spend all your time reading long introductions and studying complicated methods. Dhara will have you meditating in minutes.
Rahasya and Dhara have started meditation workshops in the Chico area and want to start a center for meditation in or close to Chico (Their workshops are not as related to the 12 Step Program as their book is). The workshops are on Tuesday from 4-6 pm, and on Wednesday from 7-9 pm near Bidwell Park. The book is available at Chico State University, S&S Produce, and Chico Natural Foods. Rahasya and Dhara are introducing their book this fall to the Butte College Alcohol and Drug Studies Program. It’s a must read. You can reach Rahasya and Dhara at 530-342-2280. Their website is at www.SpirituaLight.com.
