Dr. Gayle Kimball is a personal coach, clairvoyant, and author of 11 books (see gaylekimball.info). To schedule a session call 345-8118. To ask a question for this column, contact firstname.lastname@example.org. All questions will be answered.
Q: Do you think New Year’s resolutions do any good? A: It’s a good time to do a self-evaluation, or what businesses call benchmarking their progress. The real question is how to stick to our resolutions. It helps to have a buddy or a support group to report to about your progress and who you can call when you feel like slipping back into a bad habit. It never works to just say no, so find a substitute such as sucking on a cinnamon stick or water bottle instead of a cigarette. Ask yourself if there is any “secondary gain” from the bad habit that needs to be addressed, such as eating to cope with anxiety. Also use behavior modification, rewarding good behavior (doing something enjoyable and healthy) and discouraging bad habits (as by wearing a rubber band around your wrist and snapping it).
Q: I feel as if I’m suffocating under time pressures and have no time for myself. What can I do to come up for air? A: Turn off the TV or don’t go into the room where other people are watching it. It’s a time guzzler and not restful. Schedule in time for self-care on your calendar or it will slip away. Ask yourself if you can delegate or eliminate any of your tasks or be less perfectionist about performing them.
Q: I gobble up food when I feel lonely and bored. What can I do? A: It looks as if your mother was too busy to give you the nurturing you deserved as a child. Since children often personalize their parents’ problems, you felt there was something wrong with you that she wasn’t more loving. We usually repeat the familiar, so you probably have attracted nonnurturing partners. Imagine that you have a hungry hole in your heart that can’t be filled with food, no matter how much you eat. You can do visualization, such as wearing a beautiful heart necklace that radiates beams of love into your heart, because the unconscious mind doesn’t distinguish between reality and belief, as evidenced in the very different health issues for multiple personalities in disassociative identity disorder. It never works to say don’t do something, so have plenty of healthy crunchy food in your kitchen, such as celery and carrots, popcorn with nutritional yeast rather than butter, and salads. Munch away. Get involved with volunteer work or making crafts that nurtures your spirit.
Q: I’m 24 and feel despair about what the older generations have done to the planet and the amount of money they spend on war when children are malnourished. What can I do? A: Think of the slogan “Think globally and act locally.” If each person behaves peacefully, shifts occur. My meditation group imagines connecting with other people with good intentions around the planet, creating a grid or matrix that strengthens all of us. Humans are in the process of evolving out of their primate origins, in which fighting and killing their own kind was part of life.
Q: I’m very reactive to even the slightest criticism from my boyfriend. How can I relax and enjoy him? A: Notice where you react in your body; probably you feel it in your gut. Shift to your intellect, your forebrain, by simply asking yourself each time, “What can I learn from this?” Change the habitual response from pain to intellectual curiosity.
Q: I worry about my kids, even though they’re adults. What can I do? A: My meditation class developed this visualization to assist those who need a boost. Try it on yourself first. Imagine you are in a celestial healing room. As you enter, you smell the fragrance of tropical flowers, hear the music of the spheres, are bathed in radiant light, and see loving angelic figures. They lead you to a restful bed, where you are nourished with ambrosia and receive the healing and guidance you need, being recharged by the beauty and serenity around you. Imagine your offspring protected by their guides. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, MD, reports that many people become aware of their guides as they approach death or have a near-death experience, but they’re with us always. Visualize your offspring nurtured in this room as a way to send them protective thoughts.